They say too much of something, even a good thing, can be very bad. For sometime, I absolutely believed in that. Like when you eat too much green mango and you get that searing pain on your teeth. But it is hard to imagine how a good thing like green mango can be bad until your teeth start aching.. Like love. They say when you love someone too much, one day you will get hurt.
Too much is never good they say. But I don’t know about that now. What I do know is I love you, and I know that it is too much and it’s something that I can’t help. I can’t imagine not loving you. It has become a part of who I am. The need to love you is like the need of the lungs for air. Of the heart to pump blood. Of the blood for water. I just can not, not love you.
I can guess what’s going on inside their minds. They might be thinking that what we have is a whirlwind romance. If it indeed is, then I don’t see anything wrong with it. But the truth is it could be anything. It could be anything we choose to. But I consider it anything but whirlwind. Since that day when we first interacted, I fell in love with you. I fell in love with you slowly and then all at once.
You used to tell me before we met that I am this girl who will break your heart. Surprising to hear that from someone I haven’t even met. Impossible. Your heart will only be broken by someone you love. And you said I’ll figure out what you were trying to tell me. Now I do..
The little things in life are sometimes all that really matters. They are somehow overlooked, perhaps because of their size.. Albeit the size, they carry more weight than all the others. Everyday, I am learning you. There are a few times when our familiarity with each other goes past the recognizable stage. There’s still so much to learn. I know it’s not going to be easy. But I am not afraid. Everyday, I am trying to learn you. Like how you are a man of your words. How you would do things for me, that others wouldn’t do or would have done. How you put my needs ahead of yours every time we are together. Even when we are not together.
Today, I woke up and felt so inadequate. I am not sure anymore if I can keep up with this train of thoughts because it is moving way too fast. Everything happened way too fast. But I am not about to stop, I am trying to find a way to continue. It’s hard and I will try not to be too comfortable with the easy part.
Everyday I am learning you like I am rediscovering a habit I have somehow picked up again after not doing it for quite a long time.
You have been writing about me for quite while now and I can’t help but blink and rub my eyes, everytime I see my name right at the bottom of your post and I can’t help but sigh. I have to believe everything I am seeing with my two eyes, right? Even if I do not know lots of things.. Even if some things just can’t be.. Because, ever since I met you, I started believing that everything is possible. You make things possible for me. And I am not only talking about the things that the senses can perceive. It’s a whole lot more than that. You are my utopia. There’s nothing more that I could ask for.