You’re forgiven but not forgotten

Do you remember how we first met? How you stopped being a stranger to me? But now, here we are again, strangers, or at least pretending to be strangers.

When it’s cold, like today, I remember you.
But I’ve forgotten how comfortable it is being with you.

I’ve forgotten how your arms feel around me.
How your palms feel on mine.
Your fingers stroking my hair.
Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I miss all of you.
But right now I don’t want you.
Maybe just a little, but not so bad.

Do you remember how we first met? How you stopped being a stranger to me? But now, here we are again, strangers, or at least pretending to be strangers.
It’s like we never even met each other. Like we never brushed our teeth together, showered together, held hands while walking together. It’s like you don’t know my name and I don’t know yours and we are both passengers in a bus and we are not interested in knowing each other because here I sit fiddling my iPad and you are smoking and you don’t care that I grimace because of the fumes because really you don’t care because I am a nobody, lost in a sea of strangers– I have become one of them. I want to point out the ‘No Smoking’ sign posted right there in front of you, if it was a dog it would’ve bit you right in the face but you don’t care because it’s not a dog. It’s just a stupid rule nobody ever really follows. And you, of all people, are good in breaking such. And more– my heart included.

Four years with you was anything but ordinary. You were good to me, yet you weren’t. That’s confusing. And I’m no longer mad at you when I should be because it’s all over and I guess like all things in this world, everything has to end– us, included.

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